Yaakovana Tovah

War-Torn Memory (First World War)

24 posts in this topic

One of the real first instances I've had of feeling a past-life was quite a mundane one, but at the same, dark.

From a young age I felt distanced from American history. I took a far heavier interest in the Egyptian and Japanese histories. The latter having large spiritual ramifications, but is not important for this segment. At some point, I want to say shortly after 9/11, I felt something else. I remember watching that broadcast in much less than shock (I was 11 at the time), but more around sorrow and a tinge of anger.

My young brain dismissing it was easy, but the years after proved harder. The more I learned of the news, having chance encounters with veterans and just good old history digging, I came to heavily dispise what was as a country have done and have been involved in. The why was elusive, clouded over by a false sense of patriotism, something I lacked heavily in my family. The mornings I would take out our flag to be hung, always filled me with something. It wasn't pride. No, it was something closer to shame, like the flag had offended me in ways I couldn't understand.

It wasn't until I began learning meditation and honing myself, did things begin to make sense. It was easy to see war as pointless death and aggression, but what bubbled under the surface was nothing before that I could imagine. I learned many details that slowly pieced together, but as of yet, nothing really in the sense of the modern human was reached, not until a very specific song made noise in my skull.

Eventually I found a band called Sabaton, a power-metal band that focused on war history and themes. One such song, upon hearing it, broke something in me. It's called Price of a Mile. By the middle of the song, I felt myself crying as I slumped into a trance-like state. I saw myself among the trenches, rain drenching me and my comrades. Scared and cold men, a variety of ages. Gloom centered around us just as the rain. We were holding lines, of what I believe to be the Western Front. The song made a guidance of the vision, with the gun fire and rain mixing with chords. The occasional explosion of mortar-fire breaking out of tune with the lyrics.

After the song, I prayed long and hard on what I saw. My companion at the time consoled me as I made a horrible plea to the gods, shaking where I was, that those soldiers lives didn't die in vain and that they were not lost. My stomach hit me with a sense that I had cheated my fate, that I was there, I was deprived of honor and the fact that I was alive today, was an affront to everyone who died.

With the weeks that followed, both musical and silent meditation sessions focused on those intense moments. I still don't know the boy's name. A veritable bean-pole with his clothes and gear sticking to him like latex, with ashen, dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He was a kid, in every sense of the word who just didn't belong in such a horrible place. I haven't been able to glean specific dates or more details that might tell me who he, or I, was. All I do remember was that we carried a locket of brass around our neck under our vestments. In it was an aged photograph of a young woman. Flowing white dress and curly brown hair, eloquently tied to the top of her head.

She was a prim and proper gall from what the boy remembered. A name for her was foggy, perhaps something like Anna-Maria or just Maria. It is still unclear, but I have the impression that after the war, I was supposed to marry her. I distinctly remember half of a conversation of her understanding what he wanted to do for his country and that she would wait for him to come home. However, I'm not sure he came back.

Each session I have cuts short. Going over the trench wall with others to make a push, firearms going off and mortars dropping. A brief upheaval of earth and then nothing but black. I am left to assume he died by mortar fire. I have hope for more, but nothing goes further than that.

Thank you for reading.

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I cannot even begin to imagine what it must have be like being on a battleground with firearms going off everywhere...other than it must be a real nightmare! I remember some battle through out the eight lives that I remember, but firearms was only there in one incarnation where a soldier shot and killed me...the bone is actually still swollen from the old gun shot. 

But I can sense the despair, by just reading your post!

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On 5/2/2017 at 8:58 AM, Jalyndre said:

I cannot even begin to imagine what it must have be like being on a battleground with firearms going off everywhere...other than it must be a real nightmare! I remember some battle through out the eight lives that I remember, but firearms was only there in one incarnation where a soldier shot and killed me...the bone is actually still swollen from the old gun shot. 

But I can sense the despair, by just reading your post!

I should count my lucky stars I don't have that kind of problem from past lives, or at least I don't seem too, or think I do, anyway...well...save for one. My left shoulder blade, just between the rim and the spine, has burnt in chronic pain ever since I was a kid and it seems that in my first life, I was stabbed there by a once-friend-turned-enemy in the conflicts we lived through. I'd rather not go into those details...he was an ally once, but got haughty and thought we were on the wrong side. You can guess the rest.

As for the war, it really was a nightmare. World War I, also known as The Great War to Europe, was a nasty conflict and living in the trenches was not fun. Hell, the real dangers didn't even come from enemies half the time.

Food and supply shortages. Fatigue, restless, psychological effects abound. Rain was the worst thing to have for the trenches because there wasn't a good way of keeping people dry or adequately warm. A lot of soldiers from simple wounds, by today's standard, could pick up a wide variety of infections. With medicine being comparatively primitive, and sanitization a big problem, a leg or arm wound could easily be fatal later. A lot of people died from gangrene and a lot of other diseases, a lot of them being fungal, like trench foot. Friggin' nasty condition.

It's honestly a miracle some lived through it. A real travesty that so many died in so many ways and it honestly makes my blood boil thinking about it. It frankly may be one of the reasons why I remember so little about this boy in the war. Harsh memories can easily stick out...he probably had a humdrum, ordinary life before this and, if I'm right, probably died there, but being killed by artillery, in light of everything a trench soldier could come across, at least in my mind, seems a preferable way to go. Quick, relatively painless compared to a grueling, slow death.

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I do not feel any pain what so ever in my old gun shot wound, the bone is just still swollen, just beneath my collar bone. When I was a kid, my mom took me to a doctor...she imagined it to be anything from the black death to cancer...but the doctor was puzzled, kept on asking "does it hurt?", "did you hit yourself", "are you sure nothing happened?"...I replied with a "No!" each time leaving the doctor even more confussed and my mother more hysterical. I wonder what would have happened if I had known the truth back the and said "well, I was shot by a soldier in America in the 1860's"...they would probably have locked me up! But never the less after having the vision, then doing a bit of research on gun shot wounds...then this is the only logical explaination to my strange lump.

Yes, I can imagine that the trenches must have been hell on earth...a fast death would have been a blessing! Ironic that they claimed it was...the war to end all wars...cleary it did no go as planned!

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3 hours ago, Jalyndre said:

I do not feel any pain what so ever in my old gun shot wound, the bone is just still swollen, just beneath my collar bone. When I was a kid, my mom took me to a doctor...she imagined it to be anything from the black death to cancer...but the doctor was puzzled, kept on asking "does it hurt?", "did you hit yourself", "are you sure nothing happened?"...I replied with a "No!" each time leaving the doctor even more confussed and my mother more hysterical. I wonder what would have happened if I had known the truth back the and said "well, I was shot by a soldier in America in the 1860's"...they would probably have locked me up! But never the less after having the vision, then doing a bit of research on gun shot wounds...then this is the only logical explaination to my strange lump.

Yes, I can imagine that the trenches must have been hell on earth...a fast death would have been a blessing! Ironic that they claimed it was...the war to end all wars...cleary it did no go as planned!

Clearly, though by far WW1 has probably been the worst war thus far.

You should look up instances of kids doing just that. There's been some famous examples. Can't remember names, but there was one kid who remembered vividly that he was murdered, was able to turn up both his body and the murder weapon to the authorities, as well as the man who killed him. Not too mention authorities have made a habit of letting psychics help them in solving cases when those psychics turn out to be accurate. 

Granted, mum and doc may have dismissed it, but this day and age, maybe not...unless you had a super conservative family like my own who found the idea of "supernatural" to be a topic for television and not real life.

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I have never quite managed to figure out what is wrong with my parents in this incarnation, but the phrase "what the hell was I thinking" has popped up everytime when considering why I chose them as my parents in this incarnation...which has mainly so far been like a mentally military boot camp...damned uncomfortable, but there must be purpose with it: so no, I do not think that they would have accepted reincarnation. 

And yes, I have heard about children remembering past incarnations to the smallest details...it is amazing what they can remember!

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Truly amazing :) You think you chose 'em?

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I am not quite sure, I have often had the feeling that something went wrong the last time I chose a womb to incarnated in...like I was pushed of course...forcing me to be born by the wrong woman (my mother in this incarnation could not even have children without medical aid). To me, my real parents will always be those I had back on Selar...yes, it may sound harsh...but I will not let my emotions be dictated by "niceness" and political correctness! So here in on Gaia...I was truly pushed off course when choosing a womb to grow in or I took upon a mad challenge...sometimes I just do nutty things!

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I sympathize with those emotion...maybe it's because I didn't really have a parentage in being originally Celestial, only having a twin to share a portion of my traits, I am close to each parentage I did have. Yujiro, while deeply hating his Oni father, did still hold him as so. Same for Feldar with his own family he left to marry a shieldmaiden, down to my own parents, I still hold them close, but...well, I don't know where I'm running with this, but i guess the moral I'm trying to pinpoint is that, though we at many times dislike them, blood is blood. They should be close, even when we hold them at a distance. Such as my family. Absolutely detest them at times and wish I could be left from them, I still love them and wouldn't wish them away.

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I suppose most people feel the same as you, but I don't...I refuse to waste any time on toxic people, family or not...and I cannot recall a time when I loved them.

But you being celestial, I am sensing something with massive white energy and an invisible but powerfull intelligence close to the centre of some galaxy..it is like a white with some red and gold specs in it...but it is a bit blurred and translucent (I can see some stars through it)...is that the source of your origin? The vision just came to me as I was reading your last post...the number 30000 also comes to me.

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I don't waste time on them either, but I love them. I suppose I don't know your situation well enough, so I'll merely have to trust the confidence in your situation, though it still makes me sad to hear.

I'm unsure of how the galaxy or consciousness there may come into it. The impressions of my first memory paint my creation in a time when the universe was a singular, flat plane before what we refer to as the Big Bang.

I was born to be part of the Warrior cast of my kind. Our bodies have marks that coincide with the energy we are made for. Some of the most primal, mine is that of red, where many would draw comparisons to the Root chakra. Unsure about the gold, but most Celestials are uniform in aura and color. Our clothing would have gold accents to white to white though.

30,000...hmm...I have a suspicion, but only that.

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Can you remember what did the universe look like when it was still one singular flat plane? It would be interesting to know.

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16 minutes ago, Simara said:

Can you remember what did the universe look like when it was still one singular flat plane? It would be interesting to know.

Vividly. It was a never-ending landscape, with no real boundaries. Everything could be found. Forests, deserts, cold landscapes as well as isolated, large areas of water for the more aquatic or amphibious beings to live. Days and night cycles did occur, but the light remained at a fixed area above the plane. When it would come to night, the light it released toned down extremely to give the likeness of moonlight. The constellations, also, did not move, static in the sky with many being bright enough to be picked out during the day. It was alien to how we have things on Gaia. The Celestials I came from, however, did not live on the land. We had our own massive city that existed just above the center of the plane, visible from almost anywhere on the plane unless you went extremely far away.

The only true boundary this world had was The Rim, as scouts called it. The orange and yellow marked Celestials were often picked for scouting and ensuring stability in the regions. They kept a close eye on The Rim, which was the edge of the plane, but The Rim was constantly moving and was hard to catch up to, requiring light travel to keep up with it as from behind The Rim, land masses and environments formed, giving this world it's infinite nature. 

There was an underside to the plane, but the rank-and-file Celestials were forbidden to attempt to traverse it. Most weren't allowed to leave the city in any case, that right reserved for scouts and the Arch-Circle who occasionally did so.

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It is hard to comprehend...a flat earth!!!! So if you were not allowed to even leave the celestial plane...this city...what did you do there? And why was the underside a forbidden area? Who made all these restrictions and why?

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Birth dictated I would be a Warrior, by the red energy cords that spread about my body stemming from the small of my back. My twin was destined however to be a Scholar, having violet colored ones that stretch and stem from where the third eye would be. All Celestials on birth go through training for combat, learning common weapons, magic and to learn flight. Afterwards, they enter training from their chosen role that society has for them. Some of us are not born with this ability, while others that do have tendril-like energy that propels us. Think like the tendrils for wings from games like Diablo for it's angels. It's reminiscent of that. The number doesn't change and, in general, determines the class of individuals. 

Those born without this ability are little more than commoners in comparison to human society. A Warrior or Scout without the ability of flight is considered little more than useless. I would say about 1% of the total population of Celestials did not possess flight, mainly because those born flightless would be scorned from being chosen as a potential information carrier to bring forth new Celestials. The typical has between one to two sets of these tendrils. Those we consider for higher positions have three to five sets, though anymore than six is on a course for the Arch-Council, who are considered the empirical leaders of us, but all obey Dominus, a being that we believe was born by three beings who came into being when Law first came from the unconsciousness of Chaos.

Dominus was a being that could only be seen by select members of the Arch-Council and any of whom he chooses and none other. He imposes the laws on our society to preserve how Celestials exist and our goal, as a whole, was to nurture and protect the life that Law made from Chaos, that eternally wishes to unmake what it didn't will into existence.

Warriors occasionally left to survey problems or fight, but they've been exceedingly rare in number. Most of that was left to the Scouts that was supposed to detail growing peoples, what kinds there were, advancement as far as technology or social structure, communicating with them and ensuring the plane as a whole was free of Chaos if it tried to intervene.

Our existence with Chaos has been tenuous, but like yin and yang, we need it at the same time. Chaos imposes a second type of law, on itself and everything else: entropy. Civilizations being formed relied on more concrete definitions of existence than we did, so death was a factor that Dominus believed benefitting, rather than a negative. Left to Law alone, the world probably would not have storms, death, murder, disease, etc. that wouldn't steadily progress life. Without these things, existence there would stagnate and, potentially, drive further madness, which would only strength Chaos' grasp. A delicate balance had to be achieved.

In many sections underneath the plane and, sure enough, a few in select locations on the above side, artifacts of Chaos existed. Very controlled, small crystals of it's energy were placed in these locations and eternally guarded by the strongest of Warriors among us to prevent the crystals from being tampered with. This power was much stronger underneath the plane and it was feared that if a Celestial ever did journey down there, Chaos would attempt to pervert that Celestial to an embodiment of it's will.

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Interesting! But when did Gaia become round? And is the plan which used to be underneath what people refere to as the inner earth today...is there a thing such as the hollow earth?

I do not know if Iike this Dominius being, just thr name is a bit of a put-off...okay, being born of three different beings is unusual, but what gives him the right to control everything and who are/were these three beings?

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6 minutes ago, Simara said:

Interesting! But when did Gaia become round? And is the plan which used to be underneath what people refere to as the inner earth today...is there a thing such as the hollow earth?

I do not know if Iike this Dominius being, just thr name is a bit of a put-off...okay, being born of three different beings is unusual, but what gives him the right to control everything and who are/were these three beings?

My such a curious bee! xD 

This place was not Gaia...no, it was a place that existed, what seems to be, before a universal creation. A series of events led to the total destruction of the plane, leading to a Big Bang-like scenario. Whether this was the first ever or among many is anyone's guess, certainly not mine.

Dominus is what I can closely approximate in today's language, based on Latin. His name was something like Authority, Guardian or Watcher in a godly sense to our communication. He, or it, was the first Celestial. 

The legend, as it is born into the minds of each the Celestials of my home, is that initially there was only Chaos. At some point, Chaos, in it's Eldritch consciousness, spawned forth the idea of sound, to give weight and depth to the emptiness of the silence. This sound expanded and, with it, came energy, light and the first unknowing sentience, Law, that worked against Chaos, as Chaos wished to end its existence when it threatened Chaos' meaning. To aid it, Law spread itself out across the darkness, it's energy dividing into three beings of colored light and that carried separate attributes of Law. Their names are as equally hard to translate as Dominus, but the mind replaces them with Greek; Alpha, a masculine of force of red color, Beta, a feminine force of Blue and Delta of green, that was considered to be a perfect equal between Alpha and Beta.

They were sent as arbiters of Law, creating light to hold their own safe dominion from Chaos. Alpha gave birth to burning flames that Beta cooled and confined to spheres and Delta spread them out in the emptiness. In amidst their work, Alpha and Beta found a deeper connection and joined themselves, creating a landscape that their "passion would boundlessly grow", but the earthen slab that formed was lifeless. Delta soon found it, cherished it and decided to spread his own energy to it, creating the lush environment on the plane.

Law was pleased with what they created and gave blessing to it, allowing it capable of creating simple life-forms in comparison to them and charged the three with watching over it. However, the three with their duties could not always watch it and so needed an arbiter of their own to keep balance on the plane as it continued to grow. The three came together and joined, producing the being Dominus, a similar being to Law, but far removed, and charged him with the task in their stead. It has been this way since and Dominus used his power to bring forth his children, the Celestials, to cultivate Law's plane.

That is the REALLY short version of it all, with all the essential need-to-know bits of most importance. 

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So this pre univers began with sound (vibration...the creation of atoms) and the flat world was a proto type for all future planets bearing life but flat hence a flat univers and RGB colours are the source of all other colours (I am talking like a graphic artist now). To some this sounds like something straight out of The Silmarillion, but to me it actually makes sense!

I may be curious...that is how I learn things, but as long as I am not nosey, then I am fine with that :D

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On 5/15/2017 at 6:48 PM, Simara said:

So this pre univers began with sound (vibration...the creation of atoms) and the flat world was a proto type for all future planets bearing life but flat hence a flat univers and RGB colours are the source of all other colours (I am talking like a graphic artist now). To some this sounds like something straight out of The Silmarillion, but to me it actually makes sense!

I may be curious...that is how I learn things, but as long as I am not nosey, then I am fine with that :D

You're fine indeed xD

To some, yes, this sounds like a good bit of fantasy, what with the fantastical elements, but there are religions that back this up. Hinduism, one of the first that come to mind, believe that reality came from sound. The source is slightly different, but essentially, the same; sound coming from nothingness. 

On another note, many are, interestingly, still convinced of the flat earth system. Yes, it's a remnant from long before, but something tells me that those that strongly still believe in it today, may have once had a life on this plane or perhaps one like it if there were more. 

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It does make sense when you really sit down and think about it: from the time sound was created then more density was created....light, water...and well us.Vibrations truly are magical....and it is a damn shame that people in general know so little about them, but then again if it was not like that we would perhaps have free energy warming up our house by now and comments like "I am not paying that much for a table...after all it is just an illusion" would be more common :lol:Question is now: Who created Chaos and where did he get the first vibrations from? Perhaps from the last vibration from a dying universe or the sparks of energy from two parallel universes rubbing against eachother?

Yes, you might be right that the idea of flat earth might be down to an ancient memory...at least reincarnation is a better theory than Gaia and all the other planets in our universe floating along like giant pancakes!

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On 5/17/2017 at 10:43 PM, Simara said:

It does make sense when you really sit down and think about it: from the time sound was created then more density was created....light, water...and well us.Vibrations truly are magical....and it is a damn shame that people in general know so little about them, but then again if it was not like that we would perhaps have free energy warming up our house by now and comments like "I am not paying that much for a table...after all it is just an illusion" would be more common :lol:Question is now: Who created Chaos and where did he get the first vibrations from? Perhaps from the last vibration from a dying universe or the sparks of energy from two parallel universes rubbing against eachother?

Yes, you might be right that the idea of flat earth might be down to an ancient memory...at least reincarnation is a better theory than Gaia and all the other planets in our universe floating along like giant pancakes!

Indeed xD though I respect the viewpoint as it's an important critical thinking view. Not believing mass-ideas or mass-made truths with compelling evidence is arguable the seed that grows any intellectual thought. It's hard to really fight for the view, but I respect that they think on their own. Going so far as to make conspiracies though...well...that's a can of worms.

As for what you said with your vision, I did some thinking and came to the conclusion that it might be a product of symbiotic energy reinforced by my chosen avatar for this site. My perhaps most serious and needed meditative needs has me expanding in the Ether, visualizing myself breaking down and spreading through the verse...with varied results. Such results sometimes harmful to the mind, as I had done so earlier today and went too deep and lost my connection to my physical and instead was bombarded by array of energies, minds, emotions, pains...universes that, at my core, I try to be a part of, but like a part of a stream, more than something that goes against it.

It's a powerful tool for drawing energy and bringing me a lot of peace and mental reconstruction, but at it's worst, my corporeal mind makes slips and sometimes the experiences are destructive to the real world boundaries. I almost had a seizure in the process and almost had to leave work. Half an hour went by without my knowing with me almost on the ground, propped on a shopping cart and a wall.

 

 

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Well, at least you do not have my problem then...I can meditate, but I never seem to be able to meditate deep enough: it is not like I have got ADHD, and going into meditation is easy, but staying there has always been a problem.

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On 5/20/2017 at 7:36 PM, Simara said:

Well, at least you do not have my problem then...I can meditate, but I never seem to be able to meditate deep enough: it is not like I have got ADHD, and going into meditation is easy, but staying there has always been a problem.

Oh I have that too, but that's why meditation is a very varied tool with many uses dependant on the user working them out. You just need to find a way that works for you. Like meditating with music. Depending on what you listen to and what the purpose of the meditation is, music can be very enhancing to it.

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I have experienced some good meditation sessions, but I was still not satisfied.

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