Rhannan

Cursed

3 posts in this topic

Cursed and bound I'm drowning now

In the reality of your betrayal

Hints of memory finally unfold

But your reasons still fall silent

I cannot fathom why you did this

And your apologies won't make up

For the way you've left me here

Bound and broken on this earth

Shattered belief in the bond we held

I thought that we were family

But the truth my dear is you are not

And I came to know too late

The closest bond would not betray

This faith and love we share

The sister that is me and not me

Will not forget my pain and despair

Inspired by a rather...."interesting" dream that I had last night.

~Rhannan

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Considering the other two poems and how good they are. Thats not actually how you are feeling right now is it?

That must have been some dream!

Zygo :flame:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was definitely some dream. A long one actually and I was only really concentrating on the one part of it until I really thought about what all was in the whole thing and I realized I just overall had a bad dream that night. The part I wrote about was just the cake topper. The sister in "Journey" is the same sister in the last few lines of this poem, the betrayer from the dream that I am writing about is someone who, in this life, I have considered a sister and trusted, and they are definitely not the same person. I couldn't tell you if the dream was a glimpse at the truth or just a dream, but this was how it made me feel. I don't like being here, I feel trapped and choked and there is so much I feel like I could be or do but I am cut off from it. And I have felt for a good long time now that I did not come here to this world by choice. My mom insists that I am here for a reason, that with all the times I should have died or been seriously injured yet came out just fine, there must be a reason. And then all the times I've been down to the very bottom of depression, done with everything, only to be pulled back from that edge and the darkness to pass and lessen gradually. I have searched for and pondered over that reason and continue to come up empty handed. I can't really put into proper words all that I felt from that dream or all that I have felt all my life. To trust someone and be tricked, to think that it is someone else who is the cause only to find the truth and learn how deep it went, because in the dream it was not just her. She had to join with others because she was not strong enough to do it alone. And then, aside from being betrayed, I wonder if I did something wrong. Was I so horrible an existence that I needed to be bound up? Is it an example of just one more person (or persons) trying to use me?

I've been so torn up about it and I couldn't even tell you if there was any grain of truth to it. All I know is how that part of the dream made me feel. Most of the rest of it was dark too. And the night before that I had a dark dream as well. These are out of nowhere, have no reason behind them, nothing to spark them from mundane life. And although it was the full moon the night I had this dream, typically I feel no influence from the phases of the moon.

I don't know. And it still bugs me, but this is what came of thinking of it and trying to sort out what I was feeling. Dreams are bittersweet like that though I guess. Happy to remember them when you can, but they can be made up of such horrible things.

Ah well. I've rambled more than I meant to.

~Rhannan

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites