Melari

A fire/ash golem-type spirit inside of my friend; wondering what exactly it could be

9 posts in this topic

Alright. I have a friend; a male friend who--as far as we both know--is human. However, for a long while--years, in fact--something's... been living inside of him. He describes it as looking somewhat like a golem made of fire and ash. Judging from pics he's drawn of it, it looks pretty humanoid. This spirit has done many things, ranging from finding a lost bible of his to compelling him to cut himself when he's upset enough (though he's done that of his own will as well) to even blurring or erasing memories; painful memories. I believe the spirit even made his ex-girlfriend ill at least once.

HE thinks that the spirit is evil and just wants him to suffer. Honestly, from what my friend has told me about the spirit (who he calls "Void Heart" or "The Apparition") I think that Void Heart has suffered in the past and--in his own way, through his own obscure methods--is trying to help my friend. I believe that the erasing or blurring of painful memories is because Void Heart has suffered similarly in the past and doesn't want my friend to go through the same pain he did; the memories that were erased or blurred related to his relationship with his other ex-girlfriend. I think VH (Void Heart) made his ex-girlfriend ill because he was trying to warn my friend that she wasn't right for him (she ended up breaking up with him; their relationship wasn't exactly the greatest anyway). I think VH made my friend cut himself because it was something that he knew gave my friend some sort of comfort (my friend carved words into his skin on more than one occasion).

Some other info about VH:

He's typed stuff on my friend's computer before. I think my friend said it was mostly gibberish or something like that.

He seems to speak English backwards or something on the occasions that he DOES speak.

He has a slight resemblance to my true form. Mostly in the hair or hair-like appendages. My friend has seen a pic I drew of my true form and has said that it reminds him of VH.

In any case, what do guys think? Do you think the spirit is benevolent or malevolent? And what exactly do you guys think it could be? At first, I thought that VH might be one of my Necrolim (or one of the beings normally under my command. Perhaps some sort of death golem? Or maybe a golem made of the ashes of the cremated?) but I'm really not sure at all.

Again: what do you guys think about all this?

~Melari

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hm....I'm thinking the spirit could be benevolent but it's hard to be accurate without experiencing the situation for myself. As for what VH is....fire and ash but humanoid....it could be a volcanic spirit. I wouldn't say golem because that actually has a more specific "this is what it is" definition that hasn't been as thoroughly diluted and warped as that of "angel". ::pulls out handy dictionary::

Golem: n. in Jewish legend/myth/folklore, an artificially created human that is given life via supernatural means.

That's the standard definition. I've looked into it before though I can't remember why and I believe they usually are made from a particular element and don't necessarily last too terribly long. Frankenstein's monster is technically a golem, just made out of human body parts instead of natural substances such as rocks, etc. I believe they're usually tied to an area as well.

I think the best course of action here would be to try and ask VH himself what he is and where he comes from. Also it would be a good idea to find out what he wants, if anything. When did this spirit begin inhabiting your friend and why? There are a lot of questions only VH can answer. And there are many spirits that are humanoid so I wouldn't label him a golem, especially since it refers to an artificial human. The intent is usually for them to mimic a human's features and actions, but often they're guardians of some sort. Golems are a type of construct, but (according to the legends) are meant to be on the physical plane, not the spiritual.

Again, only VH could truly give any answers. If your friend is so openminded with you, he should try to be with this spirit as well, it's something that they really need to try and work out, but maybe you can help mediate it. Just my thoughts.

~Rhannan

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why does your friend describe the entity as a Golem? Is he familiar with these types of things?

If it is a Golem then it would be with him for his protection, Golem are usually created for defence not attack.

I think your friend should talk to VH, try to find out for certain if it is a Golem, and ask it why it is there. You should try to find out if your friend created VH or if he was created and placed inside your friend by another person, and make it clear that it has to stop hijacking his actions and erasing his memories. If it is a Golem then it has to listen to his wishes.

In Jewish folklore Golem are claimed to be physical entities made of mud particles. They are given vague humanoid form and animated usually by a hebrew phrase inscribed upon the body somewhere. I've never heard of an astral/spiritual Golem, but that doesn't mean they cannot exist it just means I haven't heard of it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Rhannan: He seems to not like talking about VH. He doesn't say it outright, but from what I've noticed, talking about VH seems to stress him out and he usually likes to get away from the topic ASAP. So I try not to ask him about VH. I'll see if I can find a good oppourtunity though to ask him about the Apparition (VH's other "name", as I mentioned).

Maybe "ashes" is the wrong way to describe VH's appearance as I've seen it; my friend depicts VH with black skin, but the word my friend uses to describe the spirit is "ash" (and "fire"), hence why I used the word.

@Velvet: As far as I know, he's not familiar with the concept of golems, or at least not completely. Then again, that's as far as I know. I honestly don't know why he describes it as a golem. When I see pics he's drawn of VH, it doesn't look like a golem at all. As far as communication goes, I believe my friend has told me that VH doesn't... speak in a way that can be understood. My friend has described VH as speaking English backwards on the rare occasions that he/it actually DOES speak. And sometimes--and I actually forgot to mention this before...--VH occasionally appears in my friend's dreams. In these dreams, VH just stares at my friend, according to him. In any case, it'd be kinda hard to find a good time to talk to my friend about VH since, like I said in my response to Rhannan, he doesn't really like to talk about VH; stresses him out.

I appreciate you both responding, by the way. =)

~Melari

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had just logged out after reading this and then I had a thought! You say your friend avoids talking about VH and gets stressed over it. Maybe VH isn't a separate entity at all, it's possible the VH is a part of your friend, it could even be his shadow self. A part of shamanic teachings is that we all have a shadow self, which is basically the thoughts, emotions, etc that we try to hide and push away. At some point we do have to deal with these things, with our shadow self, in order to be a complete person and move on with our lives. The fact that your friend doesn't want to talk about him tells me that it's very possibly his shadow self and it contains things, parts of his psyche, bad memories even, that he doesn't want to deal with. Talking about VH means confronting these issues which are probably painful. If we ignore our shadow self long enough it will start to find ways of interacting and trying to force us to acknowledge it, such as showing up in dreams, intruding on thoughts, things like that. Your friend might not want to try it but it's not a bad idea for him to try a journey meditation to confront VH. You can help him with it, and if you'd like and I'm able to I'll provide whatever assistance I can from here.

It's just a thought, it might not be what's going on, but right now it seems a pretty likely option.

~Rhannan

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's an interesting thought, Rhannan! I just wonder if he'd be willing to attempt any sort of meditation. He's Christian, and along with that I'm not quite sure he believes in meditation and stuff like that. It... very well may be worth a try though... o3o

If I can find a good enough oppourtunity to, I'll ask him if he might be willing to do the meditation.

The only thing is that I communicate to this friend through either Skype or text. Also, it's unrelated to the communication thing, but it's very well worth noting: he... has this very odd notion that pretty much everything's his fault, and when something bad happens to him, he tends to think that he deserves it, despite the fact that I always tell him that he's not being punished. xO

~Melari

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the meditation thing, most people don't think of this or realize it, but prayer is a form of meditation. If he's not sure what to do or how you can always send him a copy of my meditation guide/thingy/whatever. But if he's willing to accept you are what you say you are, then it shouldn't be a stretch for him to give meditation a try, and there are a lot of Christians who meditate. You don't have to sell it to him as a spiritual journey, but you certainly can. You can just try to get him to focus on VH and getting answers about him because meditation is about focusing your mind and you can concentrate on whatever you want. It might not always come but it's worth a shot lol.

As far as things being his fault and deserving to be punished and have bad things happen to him, obviously that's not true. I know that people get like that sometimes, and if VH is his shadow self, he may be trying to help him deal with and get over that. Hard to say for sure, and as I said in my initial response only VH can give the answers. Or your friend.

~Rhannan

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hope things have gone well. I notice that this issue is just under five years old now, so hopefully your friend has learned to cope with things.

It may be slow going though. The shadow beings are not entirely forthcoming on information when you would like them to be and can sometimes be outright violent. I recently got over my own experience with this, starting since I was 13, interestingly enough from the same mentality of believing I deserved some form of punishment, that I was cursed and that I could never be free of who my past self was.

It can take a lot of effort, meditation and knowing oneself to purify this problem of a shadow-self. It requires being able to fully understood who you are and what they represent and what truth comes from the joining of the two, again, something they are not entirely helpful on relating. 

Best of wishes and energy to your friend's way.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites