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Everything posted by SirAzrilyan

  1. After deep meditation for... 1 year, 2 months, 26 days. Or... 451 day, or 10,824 hours, or 649,440 minutes, or 38,966,400 seconds... I wake to say... I'm back in the game.
  2. For those that know the more recent part of my story you know that Azrilyan locked himself up. What I've found is that drinking blood weakens the effect of the lock allowing him to speak through me and even step all the way out. However I stopped drinking around a little over a year ago, and I've been unable to find anyone. So Azrilyan is locked behind this wall that I've tryed to use various sigils on it but nothing lasts over 5 secounds before it's repaired again. So I've thought up a few bandaids for the situation before I deal with the actual problem. 1) create a new part of me that is separate enough to be on both sides of the wall at once. Thus giving Azrilyan a road to me and vice versa. this is not very efficient though as I need to create a construct, make it almost like me, put it in a place i cant get to, and then fuse it to me. This seems very difficult for me to do.. 2. Simular to the above but instead invite a third house mate. They would be able to temporarily hold down the wall for Azrilyan to surface, or just chanel him. A lot easier for me and Azrilyan. But having a third person seems unlikely. I know no one I trust that much. I could kill them and use their "body" in a simular way but that's too dark and not a person I want to be. 3. A blood substitute. Either a ritual or a drink. Since no one has ever found one I think it's unlikely I will. But maybe something simpler that only focus on the effect it has on the lock, but I don't know where I would start with that. I've made strong potions before and developed powerful rituals but with this I'm in the dark. So it's awful lonely in my head and I was wondering what you thought of the above and what you would suggest. Maybe you can think up another way I havn't considered.
  3. What do you mean by more serious? So I tried the whole thing, twice so far. It doesn't let him out, but I can feel his movement from inside better. Also it slows down it repairing self, so maybe with some more work or some alterations I'll get the same effect as the blood. Well I was using them to break down a portion of the wall separating my inner space from his. Almost worked, but not quite. I ment inviting another being into my inner space Yeah, I still havnt found the exact way to open my door. I only know that blood keeps it from repairing it's self. *** Update *** I found out I can open a small bit of the lock. Just big enough to pull or push basic energy in or out, anything charged with intent gets clogged up though. So I've been pulling his energy through, cleansing it, and pushing it back. Figured keeping his energy flowing and clean would keep him strong and healthy.
  4. "Just because my creator trusts me doesn't mean I trust myself. I have been broken beyond recognition, twisted into something I wasn't supposed to be, and brought to the edge of my own annihilation. I felt I wasn't ready for myself to be back. I found to help me, i think it was an old friend but I'm not sure. I developed a lock for myself and he created a ritual. The end result was me being locked up in a body with another." He has always been locked inside me. The only reason he has been able to do communicate and reach out is apparently because the blood drinking temporarily weakened the lock. I can feel him trying to reach out and I'm definitely trying to reach inside, but saddly so far neither of us have been able to. Which is why I'm here asking for help. But I'm not sure anyone can help, I'm just hopeful.
  5. Thought I would put down my thoughts on the connection between some tears or rifts as Rhanwyn called them, to nuclear weapons. Basic information: Energy travels high to low. nucular fission is used in nucular power plants and the first atom bombs. nucular fusion is used on today's atom bombs and is hundreds of times more powerful then fission reactions. Also more importantly for this post it's what the stars run off of. Not all tears are the same, and don't go to the same location. But I'm sure that most if not all nucular related ones are the same. *** ** *** The force of a nucular blast and destructive output alone is not what causes the tear. The tear comes from the energy released from such a small area, too much energy that it can't escape in the physical directions fast enough. So creates a hole to the framework, Nirvana, or the Void. The Void isn't really that bad, but the tear is simular to a wound which is why they feel wrong. Thats also the reason they will stay where they are on the Earth instead of where they are in space. So that's what a nonphysical tear into the Void is, but physical tears exist too and are created in a simular way but with much more energy. Ie Black holes. The reason the first ones even bother with these tears is because it's their power that caused them. Stolen but still nucular devices hold the same energy they do. Also it's beneficial to them as there is a lot less competition to use that tear as a food source then the sun or a black hole.
  6. Thats not exactly how tattoos work. They stain the underside of the skin, so it wouldn't matter how fast someone heals as long as the ink breaks through The top layers of skin. I actually would think that it would be less painful due to their resistance of pain. So assuming their skin isn't so hard that it breaks the needle and their body heals in a normal albeit faster way then I think it wouldn't be that bad at all.
  7. Well I have encountered an old "friend". I am in constant battle on the astral level, protecting people I've met and making it look like I'm somewhere I'm not. I guess you could say that it's been noticed I'm not dead or what have you. This friend of mine, we share a respect of eachother. So when he was hired as a hit man of sorts he came and told me how it was going to be. Needless to say, he couldn't strip me from this body or Zac. Other then that there was a very brief moment where another angel showed up, we didn't speak though. More like passing glances. ~Azrilyan
  8. My my, this has been quite fun to read through. (Rhannan I know you believe in many paths, im just borrowing your words to make myself think) I think that is the best part. In fact I'd go so far as to say that's the only part that truly matters. Anyone who has studied philosophy as a way of life knows that the answers to the questions don't matter, it's you going down the path of discovery finding how this connects with that until you find out that what seemed to be opposed were really just far points on the same coin, and now you have an entirely new side of that coin to explore. Now I agree with a lot of the things Bran said, but some I just don't know enough about or I completely disagree with. Now even though I am an angel, my God isn't a jealous God. The bible I know isn't for me, it's for the children of man, and not even all of them. The world we live in isn't black and white, it's not even muddied greys. It's a Hugh array of hues, shades, tints. Beauty. So in such a world why would there be one path, or one truth for all? Anyways I'm done running through that, on to the Nephilium. I do think just about any angel has the power to manifest physically but not that that would matter because if there are being like succubi or inccubi why would angels have to be physical to procreate? My last point on this is Zeus, if the stories he only had to "shower" a woman to produce a child. Zero intercourse and only external.. Would touch be the right word? So imagine what a nonphysical angel could do not limited to external touch. As to the point you brought up Zygo. Well I'll just add that to the list of things I have to think about from this thread.
  9. I think Zygo is referring to the nature of nuclear blasts. Even if we created a large enough bomb to equal the force of an atomic blast it still wouldn't destroy matter like nuclear explosions. When the matter gets destroyed it causes a rip in this plain and the first ones contain and close the rip before spirits get misplaced to the other side and other choas happens. Am I close Zygo?
  10. .. I didn't think I was that insensitive, or that I couldn't relate to "lower classes". I mean given my story, I've fell pretty low. But I'd be happy to be the expedition leader. keeping the dragon fed and happy will be the number one priority. Next will be teaching this general about warfare so we don't all battle charge to defeat. Enter the daring Rouge who is needed to find the many different traps and secret passages throughout the exploration.
  11. Well for me it's like being pushed to the passenger seat, im still out and in control of the E-Break if I need it. This is my body after all. Their is definitely a change in my voice, both the pitch and just how I talk. Physically Azrilyan holds himself in a more intimidating way, and the bodies eyes change to green. (Even had one green and the other blue before) I haven't noticed a change in heart rate or temperature. Knowledge and instincts definitely boost. Hmmm... thinking more about this, I think maybe it's not so much a switch of the driver as it is me chaneling him. I'll have to do some research on both sides to figure it out I suppose.
  12. I am calm. Was hurt before realizing the rather large and out of hand misunderstanding. I never wanted this to happen and I'm sure no one else did.
  13. ... *sigh* ... Paired with some personal issues I felt like I was attacked on this Thread. when I went back to site myself I found that an entire paragraph had been deleted for a reason I don't quite understand. I left the person unnamed (even ungendered) and told their story which some others have, and also you can still find their post about it if you know where to look. (also Im sure they actually gave permission to tell their story). In that paragraph I talked about another reason some have reservations about non-rememberingKin. I was making those points because sometimes knowing why you think some way is enough to change and be more accepting. So, lets get started. By a sort of "Fill in the blank" deal. One says part of the memory and the other says what happens next, and so on. This is again from the deleted potion of my first post. people want it because they feel insecure about backing someone who is possibly misled by themselves, I've seen it lead to years of thinking your otherkin and later finding out your not. that's a lot of pain to deal with for all involved, and no one wants that. My theory states that there has to be a driving force behind change. change doesn't just happen, something causes it to happen. I don't understand how your video game isn't real. You literally live within it, perhaps not as well as you do here though. only real things can cause real changes, nonreal things couldn't possible have the force to drive real change. I really wish this misunderstanding hadn't happened. Past lives are MY way, and can be anyone elses if they want. To me they are live learning from yesterdays mistakes is all. But I did present a side (well it's half a side now), I showed why many are have caution when dealing with non-rememberingKin. I know I have that need, and I know not everyone does. In truth I may be a little envious of your situation. ***Note to the Admins*** I understand you were just enforcing the rules, and I know that is quite necessary, but I was genuinely hurt by thing things that transpired from it. Enough that I had writen "I've made this my home and I would rather leave it then soil it by arguing with harsh words." and I was prepared to leave, I want to keep this a good place after all. So is it possible to send out an automated notification or a pm when something is changed? in this case I would have rather had my entire post deleted then went through that, but its too late now. P.S. I would have sent that note in a pm but I didn't know which Admin made the change.
  14. I believe I have past life memories because there is the shared experience part and I have known things through them and found out they are true. And there is proof, there is always proof. You've proven to yourself that you exist right? That's all the proof you need. Even if you don't have proof that I am who I say I am, I have found proof to myself that I am what I say. Maybe instead of the word "proof" we could use "justification". You and I are quite different, and our justifications for believing we are as we say are reflect that. As for your friends that don't define themselves by their memories, how does someone learn without relying on memory? On the whole nothing is provable part, I believe that because others have the power to change me they must exist. The alternative would mean I would be an infinitely self fed system where nothing new would happen. If I exist and something makes me react then it must be real. I felt like you were a little offensive in your last comment, I want you to know I'm just trying to present another side, not start any issues.
  15. For me it started as a connection, then memories, then considering myself as an angel. And that's the problem most people have with non-rememberingKin. Few don't have memories and still consider themselves kin, and almost always they remain confused and uncertain until they have memories. It's the job of forum members to make other members feel accepted and at home with who they really are, so they ask for how you have proven your kintype to yourself. If you can't present that beyond a feeling that words fail to describe, it makes it hard for other members to do their jobs. People tend to get rather irritated when they can't preform their job, and those that don't notice how this irritation sets in tend to go overboard and lead an onslaught of degrading the person in question. So I hope I brought some light on to this subject for all of you. Back to you Nemesis, I believe you should try for memories because remembering wont hurt you, but being misled by yourself would. But memories take time, and know that what ever path you find yourself on we here at this fine castle will support you with everything, because we are damn good at our job. This post has been edited to remove certain portions. Please do not post details of another's personal and private life on this forum. It is unacceptable.
  16. I think Lys is actually referring to plural systems such as Brothers Grimm or Hotel and City. For me, since there are only two there isn't a debate, it's more that we both try to add to an introduction, and now we have a base introduction we copy, paste, then update with small changes.
  17. Thats when the admin sweeps in says "none shall pass!" And locks the thread. Lol
  18. Zygo I think you are close but that it isn't quite that well knit. It's like the army, everyone has to be simular for the unit to function well but they are still their own people. An example we all have heard about would be Lucifer. He is the oldest of the angels. In a way that would make him the corner stone, what the others were based off of. Instead of that he was the strange one, so from that anyone can assume that the "Host" was created with diversity, and probably a lot of it because it became a large problem. I do however think that if he would have asked the proper question, maybe "what can I do", then he would have been given a chance at returning.
  19. Understandable, but I get the feeling that you would be in the fight before you made it there. Makes me wonder though, very rarely does eternal banishment really mean eternal, something to do with not being the same person who was banished back then. So it may be possible that taking up that path, and making contact, could grant you a position back. Unless you were warned otherwise seeking one still connected to the homeland wouldn't be seen as an act of aggregation. Well from my experience a great many things have guarded those kinds of portals. At one time the most popular was griffins. No idea where they all left to though. Suddenly there were many and then even more suddenly most disappeared.
  20. I have some news considering this. Through my meandering in search of answers to my own very complex questions, I have found a form of magic that is literally all about dragons. I found it a while ago but never really delved into it because its very RHP. (by that I mean getting power from else where, while I am about developing my own power) Basically these draconian magicians call on the power of dragons, dragons that are in a different plain. Maybe this is your ticket home, or at least to some answers. Check out a place called Drachen Magie Vermachtnis Clan.
  21. Many many people believe they are none physical, human as well as otherkin. "My true body is eternal and will live on as my physical body dies." Another question is do those people think there soul or spirt mirror their baser body. I personally consider my soul and spirit both physical but a different kind of material. There have been some studies where when a person is dying they are weighed until they pass. Mass then leaves with no trace, somthing that isn't supposed to happen based on scientific understanding. *When Googleing for a source I couldn't find the one I was looking for based in either Sweden or Switzerland. So does my "less physical" body mirror my current body? No, but it does have a definite* form. It's not like smoke in a bottle. *Definite as in preferred, I can shift at will under certain circumstances. ~Azrilyan
  22. Let's see.... my mystical path is also somewhat tied into my awakening, or maybe the other way around. My grandfather is a devoted Christian (one of the real ones), a member of the Free Masons, and quite an interesting man. My mother is a "find your own path" type, who would always push me to be myself. Then there was my philosophy teacher in high school, an old white guy who had a pony tail and participated in the sun dance with a native American tribe. These three people helped me on my mystical path, which I am much more focused on then "real" world activities. Magic is my favorite thing, and makes me happier then anything else. In developing myself and my path I have battled myself and creatures of hate, I became the youngest Free Mason in Colorado and possibly the entire United States, and I saved some of the lost. I will say that with much joy comes much suffering. one begets the other and so on. A life devoted to magic will almost without a doubt have more pain then if you only practiced in your spare time. That being said I will continue this way. Pain is what makes us strong after all.
  23. I call your bluff. If any of you really wanted/could you would have done it and shared the cookies already.
  24. I know a couple easy ways around soul locks you know. First would be dragon slaying but I'm far too found of Mr. cookie inspector, so the next one has to do with cloaking in said souls energy. (anyone can learn but poly morphs are exceptionally well suited) Using Mog's excessive shadow breathing is a good way to cloak one's self. Now then, since I have experience in this field I believe I should win by default as I may be able to break in to his cookie vault. Further more the vault can't be in the physical realm. Didn't you see that trick at the chamber warming party? Last little bit... before you say I'll never find the vault, it's not hard to track somthing Mogs size.
  25. While difficult to read because of font color, I still enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.